The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door:

Dear Dogs and Cats:

The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.

The proper order for kissing is:
Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:

TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:

(1) They live here. You don't.
(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
That's why they call it 'fur'-niture.
(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
(4) To you, they are animals.
To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.

Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
(1) eat less,
(2) don't ask for money all the time,
(3) are easier to train,
(4) normally come when called,
(5) never ask to drive the car,
(6) don't hang out with drug-using people;
(7) don't smoke or drink,
(8) don't want to wear your clothes,
(9) don't have to buy the latest fashions,
(10) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and
(11) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children!

Hello Monday!

It is a sunny, windy, and cold morning here in my little corner of the world. The sunlight is beautiful with its cheerful rays of light trying to embrace the morning in warmth. However, the wind is winning the war against warmth.

Yesterday, I was in the living room watching the cats. They were in the front windows, looking out and trying to catch the leaves which were blowing across their field of vision. Once in awhile, a leaf or twig, or other object would strike against the glass panes, causing the curious cats to jump back, hunker down and jump off the window sill, and run wildly through the house to try to figure where that noise came from. Then the other cat would give chase and WWF cat smack down would begin.

The cats are hilarious, and their simple pleasures of life make me laugh and smile. Whether they are sleeping or playing, sitting in our laps, or getting into mischief the cats entertain our family.

Simple, I know. But, I like that I can enjoy simple pleasures. I love the innocence of their play, the depth of their cat naps and the way they engage in conversation with their humans through their meows, purrs and other antics. I love that they have to be in the middle of everything we do.

I love being owned by our cats.